you don’t need to know who someone was, in order to respect who they are.
dead naming threatens & invalidates a persons authentic gender identity, not forgetting how hurtful it can be.
it doesn’t matter what name a person “used to use”. if they don’t use it now, neither do you.
not when talking about someone in the past
- eg. instead of saying “my friend, who used to be called Sam but is now called Samantha” / “i knew them as Sam but now they’re called Samantha”
just say “my friend Samantha”.
never ask “what name did you use before this” or “what is your birth name?”
it doesn’t matter what name a person used to use.
if they don’t use it now, neither do you