Misgendering & dead-naming are threats to transgender people’s identities.
N e v e r use someone’s dead name or pronouns, even when talking about them in the past.
The term itself is pretty self explanatory. It’s called a dead name for a reason. The name is dead to this person.
I’ve heard in the past, people argue : “that was who they were back then, so surely I can use those pronouns / name when describing who they were then” – the answer is no. It’s never ok.
Dead-naming & misgendering are verbally violent offences that attempt to invalidate a persons authentic gender identity – @theadvocatemag
Doing either, erases the trans persons gender presentation. Not forgetting how completely it draining it can be to a trans persons mental health.
the following steps are crucial for ally-ship :
1. n e v e r use a dead name or pronouns.
2. Don’t AVOID using someone name / pronouns – that implies you’re uncomfortable with that persons gender.
3. DO avoid using the phrasing “preferred name” or “preferred pronouns”. It’s not preferred. IT IS.
4. Never ask “What name did you use before you used this name?” You don’t need to know it. (When do you hear people asking married folk, for their old name?)